A lesson from Nostalgia

Yesterday, I spent the afternoon re-exploring Lake Elmo. My heart smiles every time I pass over the city limits and see that sign - "Lake Elmo pop. 6368." To be able to spend hours driving through the streets remembering was priceless.

Honestly, I probably looked super sketch. I parked in front of my old houses and imagined the layout, looked at my bedroom window, and relived the memories from each room.

I moved onto the railroad tracks at the end of Kraft Circle. I jumped through the snow bank and up onto the tracks. Lying there, I heard the sound of of the train's whistle in my head, imagining full-grown milkweed. How many summers did Taylor and I collect this milkweed and feed it to our captured caterpillars, soon-to-be monarchs?

From there, I drove to Lion's Park. I drove past the softball fields, remembering all of Huff-n-Puff tournaments my dad played in. I ran over to the playground, spun on the carousel, and flew in the swings. All of it was so familiar and the memories vivid, from the woodchips, to the moss-covered base of the water fountain. As I left the park, I drove past the Lutheran church and heard the bell tower announcing the hour.

Finally, on my way out of my childhood town, I stopped by my old church. I sat on the benches out front, red paint peeling. I relived the countless games of 'bench tag' my friends and I played every Sunday after service, incidentally tripping nearly everyone as they left.

I love this quaint little town. And as I sat on the swing at Lion's Park, it hit me. I had a wonderful childhood, and I treasure each of these precious memories. But I'm not a kid anymore. Trying to figure out tis balance has been tricky - I still live with my family, but my role in the family has changed. I have more responsibility and I'm more independent, but I'm not on my own. I'm thinking through what it looks like for me to serve my family well during this in-between stage. It's a challenge, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love this time with all of them!

Growing up has always been a a scary thought, I'm not very fond of the unknown. I guess that yesterday it just hit me - I'm not a kid anymore, and I need to move on. I need to grow up and learn how to be an adult. Being a child in Lake Elmo was a season, and being an adult in Minneapolis is another. And both are so good.

(Ecclesiastes 3:1).

I can hardly contain myself

JULIE KRESGE is coming to Minneapolis this weekend.

I'm thrilled beyond words.

He breaks the power of canceled sin!

[Disclaimer: lately I have been blogging because it helps me to process my life. Much of it is a jumbled mess, so please don't feel compelled to read:) However, if my angst and fight to love Jesus better is mirrored by your own, it is my prayer that these words are aptly spoken].

Jesus is so faithful. Several times this week God has shown me just how big and able he is to overcome and get me through this, well... whatever it is.

Pastor John spoke in chapel last week exhorting us to be killing sin and giving some very practical ways we can do so. I'm still processing and rehashing it. These are some various thoughts from both his message and that I've been turning over in my mind the past few weeks.

"He breaks the power of cancelled sin." --O For a Thousand Tongues to Sing

The decisive power for my conquering sin is Christ canceling sin. The only defeated sin is a forgiven sin. The link is my empowered will. The Holy Spirit empowered will to kill sin.

I don't wait for a miracle - I act the miracle.

"Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for is it God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." (Philippians 2:12-13)

We work out our salvation with fear and trembling because our acting is God's acting. He is that near, that much indwelling, that much willing. So much so that my willing is his willing.

When the thoughts of anger, bitterness, and self-pity come, I need to fight them. I need to preach the gospel to myself. I need to remember that I have a higher calling than being stuck in sin. I need to recall these commands:

• "Set your minds on things that are above...for you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God." (Colossians 3:2-3)
• "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." (Philippians 4:8)
• "Take every thought captive to obey Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Yet, sometimes, I don't have the strength in myself to fight. I need the help of other believers to remind me that the gospel is good. I need them to fight with me. "And when he saw their faith, he said, 'man, your sins are forgiven you.'" (Luke 5:20)

Everyday, Jesus makes this more and more clear to me. But, it's still a very real fight, from hour to hour. Yet, it is times like these when I'm burdened with weighty matters and difficult experiences that I feel Jesus even closer and more real. If my woundedness is what it takes for my heart to hold so tightly to him, I'll take it. I need to know and live like he is more than enough for me.

[I highly encourage you to listen to the message: http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/i-act-the-miracle. Sin is something we will all war against until the day we die. I promise it is worth your time].